V-Day

Valentines Day.....

Wake up and nearly forget that it is. Thankfully I've left cards and heart shaped boxes of candy for everyone downstairs on the table - where they'll find them when they go eat their breakfast.

Happy Valentines Day to and from the girls.

H is a different story. He says as he reads his card "I hope you remembered to buy yourself one of those." I guess I didn't expect much more. I guess I don't entirely care...but to hear "happy valentines day" might be nice. Even good morning would go a long way.

He barks at the kids, this is wrong, that is wrong, yadda yadda. The sitter is sick and although he only has one class, he refuses to come home early to take over for me so I can go to work. I check to see if daycare can take her and they can - from 9:30 to 3:30.

Turns out that he comes home right after his class anyway. Baby stays at daycare. I'm madly rushing through tasks at work trying to deal with things that MUST be dealt with before I have to leave early to get baby from daycare. H would get her....but he might be sleeping, or he might be at the Dr. (In the end he was at home, but I still had to leave early to get Baby from daycare. To date (Since Jan. 1) I've used a little over two weeks of personal time for Baby illnesses and child care issues.

Someone asks me if I rec'd anything for valentines day. I say no, but I'm sure H will be extra nice when I get home or will have cooked dinner or cleaned .... or SOMETHING. He will have realized what an ass he's been and will have shifted gears.

WRONG.

He's yelling at 10 because she doesn't understand fractions. Railing at 14 for i can't remember what. Grudgingly takes baby so I can help 10 w/math and get dinner started. 10 minutes later he walks back in holding the dangling baby sideways under his arm like a doll exhaling like he's under great stress. Hands the baby back to me as he says "this isn't working - I can't get anything done here."

Then comes the complaints about where I parked and how of course I didn't consider his needs. Nope - I considered my own needs as I came back into the house in the freezing weather with the baby in the car seat with the diaper bag and my purse and ....

At that point he moves onto the kitchen because I'm not getting dinner done quickly enough and he needs to leave to go study elsewhere. Once he's gone...we all exhale....and breathe.

Lightness and laughter fills the air. We joke, we relax, I get dinner for the kids. Mostly I take care of the baby who isn't in the greatest or easiest mood - likely a reflection of all the tension she sees every day. I get the girls to bed and I get baby to sleep in my arms as I watch the boob tube.

When H gets home he busies himself finally making some dinner in the kitchen. Never a hello. He sits down at the coffee table and starts eating. Never an acknowledgement...never says, hey are you hungry? or Can I take the baby for you? no.

So I say that I'd like to eat after he's done if he'll take the baby or if I can get her to bed. Then Mom comes over.

Baby wakes up, H gets on the phone w/his parents to wish them Happy V-Day. Mom, baby and I play on the floor. H finishes on the phone and I say I'm ready to get something to eat. That pisses him off because he's about to make his nightly cookies. So I rush and shove the food down my throat - as usual. So typical.

What a crappy Valentines Day.