WAY Too True!

From MSN Careers - Boss to Reality Translations (my paraphrased title)

• "Great job on the report!"Translation: "I'm taking credit for your work." (SOOO TRUE W/BOB and ED)
• "I have to attend an off-site meeting."Translation: "I'm having an affair."
• "Let me give you some broadstroke ideas and you can fill in the rest."Translation: "I still haven't learned how to create an Excel document."
• "Headquarters has assured me we will not be affected by the merger."Translation: "You are going to be fired."
• "I'm not sure if what you are suggesting is in alignment with our core competencies."Translation: "What exactly do we do again?"
• "This office is a family and my door is always open if you ever need to powwow with Papa Bear."Translation: "I am a tool."
• "I'll be out of the office for a couple hours with senior management, but you can reach me on my mobile."Translation: "I'm playing golf."
• "I'll be off-site and unreachable for the rest of the afternoon."Translation: "I'm playing golf and I expect to be very, very drunk."
• "I think we should order in some lunch for the team."Translation: "None of you are getting a raise. Enjoy your pizza." (ON THE MONEY!)
• "I don't want to have to micromanage this whole operation!"Translation: "I'm the boss because I made good business contacts at my Ivy League university; I don't know how to actually do things."
• "This came down from up top."Translation: "I have no real power." (SAD BUT TRUE)
• "I can't give you an answer at this moment. Let me survey the situation and see what we can leverage out of it."Translation: "Oh God, I wish I was still in sales!"
• "It's good to see you take such bold initiative!"Translation: "You are a threat to me. You will be fired the next time we so much as run out of coffee."
• "I'll think about it."Translation: "I'll tell you no in an e-mail, long after I've left the office." (BINGO!)
• "Did you finish those projections I asked you about on Friday?"Translation: "I completely forgot to ask you about the projections on Friday, and I'm hoping your memory is even worse than mine." (HAPPENED TOO MANY TIMES)
• "This is a very sensitive issue."Translation: "I may need you to shred some documents."
• "Let's push the boundaries on this one. We need something really innovative! Throw out the conventions, I want something edgy!"Translation: "Present only safe, traditional ideas to me. I wouldn't know what to do with innovation if my life depended on it."
• "We're going to be pulling some long hours and I'll be right here with the rest of you."Translation: "My home life is miserable."
• "I hate to be the bearer of bad news."Translation: "Disappointing you is the only pleasure I have left in my dead-end, crappy job."

Now tell me....can you relate????