Therapy Schmeerapy

Ok - you asked so I'm sayin. I've been thinking about it a lot lately but can't get myself to make an appointment.

I went because work had me all in a tizzy. Because I couldn't focus, felt lost, thought I was losing my mind. I couldn't do a single thing. Some of those issues - a lot of them - still exist.

It felt great to get an hour to just unload, vent, unjudged and not necessarily advised unless I wanted to be. After all I'm paying and I make the rules right?

The problem was that the therapist was too on my side if that's possible. Of course you want validation, encouragement, understanding, empathy, yadda yadd. But I know I'm not all right and it bothered me that she reacted so outwardly ~ as a friend who was aghast at what you're going through. It bothered me that she acted as though I was solely in the right and everyone else was wrong.

But what really made it tough for me was that she kept focusing on my personal relationship with H rather than work. Work is what I desperately need(ed) help with. While it was nice to gain certain insights into my marital relationship, I didn't feel like that's where I needed to focus.

I really needed tools and guidance to get me through the work thing. I guess I'm still somewhat there. But now I have a new boss (my old boss is now her boss) So newbie is very empathic, team oriented, digs in and gets her hands dirty. A lot different from the hands off unavailable oldbie. Not that he didn't have his positive qualities, but they didn't serve me well. He was wishy washy and easily succumbed to the higher powers that be if they looked at him crooked.

Newbie is making progress. That means I am making progress. I still have my issues and, of late, have been giving a lot of thought to making a therapy appointment if for no other reason than to unload whatever. But it isn't so much at the forefront of my mind.

The End.