11/29/2007

My fam is mental

I thought he was crazy when he said that my sister purposely opened the drapes on a bright sunny day after he said he had a migraine and closed them. She was there watching the baby and he had just come down in the morning shortly after I left with the girls. I didn't believe that she had done that because she also had a headache that morning - so that would have surprised me.

This morning he had a migraine. He took a pill and grabbed an ice pack and went back to bed. I got the girls up as usual, got ready, took care of the baby with 13's help, etc. My sister arrived to watch the baby. We all got ready to go and I told my sister that H was upstairs with a migraine and had just taken a codeine, then I turned to go into the kitchen.

I turned back around and she had gotten up and was opening the drapes on every single window in the living room and entrance hall. I commented that H would probably close those when he came down and she said, with extreme sarcasm, "well, i guess we have different priorities." I shot back with "snarky much in the morning?" So she angrily said "I don't feel well and I can be snarky if I want. do you have a problem with that?" I was really taken aback.

Instantly I realized that she had opened the drapes specifically because I had said that H had a migraine. She did it to purposely be antagonistic and difficult. There's no disguising that.

Then she starts bawling. I ask her what's wrong and she says she "hurts" and has for a long time. She says she can't cope with all that's going on. (had surgery in the last few months and had pain in healing) So I offered that she doesn't have to be here if she's not feeling well, just go home - it's fine. She doesn't want to explain what she means about not being able to cope with all that's going on... She says she'll be fine and doesn't want to leave.

I'm thinking I don't know now if I want her taking care of the baby. She clearly has some emotional issues. She always has, but this is clearly a more agitated state. Not that I think she'd hurt the baby, but it's not a very stable situation to have her constantly exposed to someone who can't manage her emotions at all and who's going to breakdown over every little thing.

Now I'm not an idiot. I know she's resentful of H being in bed with a migraine when she functions every day with a headache, or more recently with her surgery related issues. But he gets up and gets ready and leaves shortly after the girls and I are gone every morning. He has to go to work or school every day. It's not like I'm having her there to watch the baby for absolutely no reason.

Of course I'm thankful that she does this two days a week at no cost. I know she'd like me to pay her, but I just can't. It costs $260 a month for the two days per week of daycare we send her to a center. Including that amount $500 of my net income every month goes to baby necessities - that's $500 that used to be for bills or spending money before the baby came along.

But her reaction was inappropriate and i should have told her as much. It was uncalled for and really immature. She is very immature. Sometimes I think she has the social and emotional development/level of a 13 to 15 year old. It's like she got that far - and that took her until she was 30 something - and then that was it. No further.

k-o, that's it. just had to say that.