Theraputic? Improvements in Domesticity

I question that because I don't know if the perceived improvement is really due to therapy or just a natural occurence and thereby a coinkiedinkie.

Saturday we had our periodic argument about finances, house cleaning, child rearing, responsibility, and he said/she said. Starts out with H's usual littany of complaints about bills, the list of home repairs on his plate, how overwhelmed he feels and over burdened. That naturally progressed into not so guarded hints about how he gets no help and how the problem stems mostly from me and the girls.

Whenever this barrage of negativity is thrown at me I try to escape. I wonder sometimes if he picks his moments, and if he's conscious of it if he does. On this occasion I was trapped - breast feeding the baby. Can't get up and walk around at that point. So I just looked down and tried really hard not to buckle under the weight of all that he was unloading on me.

Was he just venting? Did he want advice? Did he want input? I don't know. Generally I assume he's venting because if I ever do offer an opinion or advice, it's not well received. Such was the case this time so I kept my mouth shut. But then he expressed frustration over the fact that I had nothing to offer. I explained my quandry.

One thing leads to another, one subject to another, and boom we're arguing over who dropped what ball and who made what mess and who needs what support. UGH!! I HATE THIS.

He opens up to say he feels overwhelmed and wants my input. I express that I'm reluctant to talk or give input when he's like this because it always leads to a fight or at the very least to me feeling about an inch tall.

I explain that I'm overwhelmed and that I can't take on everything that he assigns to me just because he doesn't have time for it. I don't either - I get home, feed the baby, start dinner, clean up after dinner, need to spend some time with the kids, usually have to run errands for someone if not myself. He counters that I never cook real meals so I can't use that as an excuse....I wonder who made the meatloaf, the grilled chicken, his fave cheezy mashed taters, the tacos, the pasta, the homemade barbq sauce for the bbq sandwiches, or the homemade pizza during the past week??? Another area underappreciated.

Stop - have to go pump. BBL