I've opted for counseling
I've always said I am a procrastinator but I guess I didn't realize exactly what that meant or how serious it could be. I've known for a long time that it was increasingly affecting my production at work and I'm realizing that its affecting my relationships and happiness outside of work as well.
Recently I saw a link on the MSN home page for an article entitled "Is the To-Do List Doing You in?" I had just started a to do list, one of millions I've started but never followed through on, and in frustration at becoming overwhelmed by the concept I turned to the internet to divert my attention for a bit. So I clicked on the link and read this:( http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-3945.html )
Every bit of it described me but what made my eyes open wide and my jaw drop was this comment: "According to procrasstination researcher Timothy Pychyl, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, people often draw up a to-do list - and then rest on their laurels. The list itself becomes the day's achievement, allowing us to feel we've done something useful without taking on any real work. In fact, drawing up the list becomes a way of avoiding the work itself!"
EXACTLY!!! How many times have I made a list and done nothing, feeling happy that I just made a step towards reorganization or prioritization. Then I could say "it's on my list for this afternoon." OR, how many times have I made a list, then chosen the most mundane and simple and meaningless tasks on it just so I could check a bunch off and make it look like I was accomplishing something??
Ok so then I looked at a couple of other articles:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20030823-000001.html and
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20031028-000008.html although the last one seems to contradict the one before it in one section.
Anyway the 2nd article I ready really drove home to me that I have a problem that could potentially be corrected but which I could in no way correct myself!! For me that was good news. It means I'm not a failure and that I'm not crazy and that there is a way out of this grey fog!! Every single point in that second article spoke to me (except the authoritarian parent - I had an extremely lenient parent and NO discipline).
Well, I am NOT an alcoholic as mentioned as possible in point 5, but have been known to not know when to stop from time to time - moreso in my younger years but occasionally in my post marriage/family/children life.
And yes I ACTIVELY look for distractions (what I'm doing right now for instance).
No I am not the thrill-seeker type of procrastinator (no. 8) although I've known them. I am the avoider and decisional procrastinator. Mostly the avoider.
Anyway it turns out that individual counseling or mental health services are covered under my insurance for a VERY reasonable co-pay. GOD! Why is that so well covered and yet they don't provide much coverage for preventative physical health measures??? Anyway I have never had therapy and was really nervous about scheduling the appointment but I did it. So next week I start seeing a therapist.
I really hope this works.
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