Another Drunken Drama

A few weeks back I had a run in with local school mom who has a drinking problem. Well, according to her she "has no problem with drinking, everbody else has a problem with [her] drinking" So she's a drunk and thinks it's perfectly acceptable. Alternately she's drunk and completely denies that she's had even one drink.

Anyway - her daughter and my daughter are friends and have been since 1st grade (5+ years). So I've always found myself in the position of having to deal with her. Once we discovered what was going on, and to what extent, we eventually banned our kids from having playdates over there, under that moms supervision, from being driven by this mom, and certainly from engaging in sleepovers there.

Other parents just begged off or declined invitations. I eventually was the one, two summers ago, that had to say to her that it was because of her drinking and that I didn't trust her to care for my kids. I was the one a year and a half ago who told her she had to leave my house due to her intoxication and STUPID ME I let her drive away with her daughter in the car when I should ahve called the police. That Christmas a teacher called the police on her when she arrived, driving, to the Christmas program drunk and nearly hit the teacher with her vehicle.

Not long ago I rec'd a call from another mom - who I eventually determined was probably just trying to beg off of the situation - asking if I could help the drunken mom by picking up her car keys and driving her parked car to the house. She'd apparently been stopped by a cop as she approached her car and, since she hadn't technically driven the car in his presence, he drove her home and made her leave her car there. The other mom didn't drive stick (neither do I) so she couldn't get it for her, but maybe my husband could. We did agree to it but not, of course, without her calling 40 times during my daughters family -bday party that night to ask when were we coming with the car.

Most recently she arrived at my house to pick up her daughter after a b-day party (the kids b-day party). I was going to drive her home and the mom knew that, but God forbid she not try to get in on the party or create some sort of social situation. She was hammered. I tried to usher her and her daughter out quickly and then came to my senses....sort of. I sent her daughter from the room and told the mom that she could not drive the daughter home, that I would do so. She threatened to call the police and I encouraged it. She quickly shifted by saying I was wrong, and insisting that her daughter be home in 10 minutes. I obliged. There was a slight incoherent run in at her home when I arrived and refused to get out of my car or come into her house to talk. Some time ago I would not have felt like I had a choice. Thank GOD that's changed.

On the way to her house I did take the opportunity to explain to the girl that she had rights. I explained that even though it might be hard for her to stand up for herself against her mother, she is NEVER obligated to get into the car with her mother when she's been drinking or if she appears to be under the influence. I identified a number of people she could always call for help or a ride. She took it in quietly but I eventually learned that it must have sunk in.

I stopped at the police station on the way home but they weren't all that interested. The deal was already done and they were busy dealing with the issues related to a major snow storm.

So a few weeks go by and it's time for a school dance. My daughter asked me if I could drive her friend to the dance. I said that would be fine with me. Next thing I know I'm getting a drunken call from the mom angrily saying that no I can't drive her because she didn't know anything about it and it would ruin HER plans for visiting her dad which she does EVERY single weekend thereby preventing her daughter from ever having a social life.

She went on and on and I eventually cut her off by saying this is something she should sort out without my input and only call me back if she does indeed need a ride. I then called the police dept. to report that this intoxicated person named "_____" at "______" address was preparing to drive her 12 year old daughter to the City. They said they'd send a patrol by to cruise the area for a bit.

She calls back later, apparently completely forgetting the drunken rage she was in earlier, and says that due to fog she is not going out of town. (I wonder if she's seen the patrol car hanging out) She explains that her daughter can go to the dance and that her daughter does not want her to drive her. Her daughter specifically wants me or my husband to drive her there AND to pick her up. So I did.

I felt pretty good about it ~ about the fact that the girl had stood up for herself. At the same time I dread being the call in every time this mom is drunk.